its a little bit lonelier than last december if im being honest
from going out to bryant park winter playground with my loved ones
to existing on a mountain watching the snowfall
from going out ice skating after school and laughing
to sitting behind a screen locked in a repetitive pattern
personally im starting to get tired
its colder, lonelier, and kinda depressing.
but i guess
making hot chocolate during lunch
plopping my things on my bed
everything being so accessible
everything being a type away
being able to do whatever whenever
the world is mine
why do i love the rain
is it because when it rains my clothes feel heavy as if someone is holding me
or is it because during the after there’s always a rainbow somewhere
maybe it’s because sometimes i get sick i have an excuse to bail and have some peace to myself
do i like being lonely or do i like being dotted on
the lines get blurred after a while
i don’t know anymore
maybe it’s because it reminds me of him
and the jacket that hangs cold in my closet
or maybe it’s because it washes away all of my sins
to be honest it could be my whole complex
or maybe it’s because it feels nice
sometimes it gets too cold but that’s alright
is it why do i love the rain or is it do i still love him
the lines are blurred and i don’t even understand
why do i feel like this
is this really how i am
A COLLECTION OF POEMS
As I step foot into the JFK airport on an early summer morning,
It welcomes me with its cold and refreshing air,
Its presence lifts me up and gently places me back down on the epoxy floors.
I glance over to the hopeful eyes of my mother
And wonder what will come next…
Where will we all end up?
And what will we all achieve?
Oh, how greatly I already miss the Dardanelles waves crashing by my feet
and the warm, delicious foods that my grandma makes from scratch.
Her hands, kneading the dough back and forth reflects the thousands of stories she proudly owns.
Oh, how much I long for the days when I didn't worry or fret about the future but rather played until sunset.
My shiny hair bouncing up and down as I count how many times I can jump rope,
My high score surpassing the next, each time I try.
I look back on those gleaming days knowing they will become foggy as time goes on…
I look outside my window,
camera in my hand.
I see the world of pain and sorrow,
Along with the world of joy and laughter.
They say if you want a good quality image,
It all depends on the camera.
Children see the world from the lenses of their role models,
but when will they grow up and hold the camera for themselves?
ISSUE 5 / JUNE 2019
A COLLECTION OF POEMS
I Should Be Vegan
A fish hook penetrates the tough skin of my right foot sole
I hang solely on this hook
my left leg dangles along my bod
(i should really stretch more)
here i am upside down
hung like a pig in a slaughterhouse
my vision is downside up
i watch the men in their white suits crawl around like ants
the blood from my foot has dried
but not before it travelled down my leg
the thick liquid tickled my knee
i wish i could cure ticklishness
i’m illogical like the ugly old angry cartoon rabbit
seeing population graphs instead of meaning
cause i can’t wear an outfit wearing my glasses (priorities)
even my smart new phone can’t synch us together
Noodle Hair but the flaky, highlighted, coated kind
swampy paint bubbles of Subway Poles
comforting but slightly dirty-looking Yellow Light
focus is key for getting through junior year
stationary waiting gets you big, slick Silver Fish
need a gold one
b/c these Silver Planet Earrings don’t match my gold rings
belted and focused on letting out aggression
the disciple of exercise
can’t stretch without it
but trying too little looks cool, right?
ISSUE 4 / APRIL 2019
FISH & BUN
Murky fog and emotions and sleep and bliss
Endless sleep. Blue— due pale ocean
Black and blue— black blue
~fade to black~
Rat seagulls hang like a mobile in a babies crib and you are cradled by the sounds
think in sounds
Focus on the horizon
think, feel, be, horizontal.
A reprieve from vertical
A break from vertically.
Absence of vertical.
teleport to treachery escape from reality and darkness, darkness is lightened gravity is heavy until
and sink into the abyss of sand and sound to never think about thinking again
theoretical theatrical goggles, goggles you’ll never have, goggles that provide security— Safety goggles
Goggles you don’t have yet
your never secure only secure in the insecurities you bask in
like the sun engulfs you on an icky summer day and u just can’t seem to find your goggles so u just don’t go swimming
Bathing in bath tubs of sorrow & dreaming of blue muck
and salty ocean water turns to tar
and tell your great great great whoever you are sorry
So so so sorry
Surrender yourself to the hot pink realities of risk and confrontation
Wallow in not ever knowing what is to come
refuse to read the endings as not to set parameters for what ending should be or if they exist at all.
Realities are finite and beaches become synthetic but emotions become true
And spiteful thoughts plague brains cells with the clutter of shitty movies
it’s all just details
Donna Masini native New Yorker, poet, and author of 4:30 movie: Poems came to MHSHS March 6th to give a workshop on writing poetry. She offered incite on the creative process taking the class through multiple exercises. One in which we were told to ask our partners outlandish questions, and another to depict the answers our partners had given us through a movie, but making sure to write in the perspective of your partner. For many the workshop inspired new works to be generated and fine tuned the process of writing poetry.
Despite the exercises we were confined to during the workshop, I had begun to write a poem about my partner and the memories we had shared together (this is what is written above) and though personally I did not completely follow and enjoy all of the exercises what mattered is that I had ended up writing a poem that has come to mean so much to me.
ISSUE 3 / MARCH 2019
AMERICAN CIVIL WAR (2022-2024)
by: Alexander Fooy
Background: In the 6th year of the Trump presidency, he forces the 22nd Amendment of the Constitution out by declaring a national emergency. One month later, he goes Roman-style and declares himself dictator. With Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (the last and strongest of the Democrat justices) dead under suspicious circumstances and the Supreme Court completely Trump-approved, the Executive and Judicial branches are able to use “national emergency” to override the Democrat-controlled legislative which is left useless. This causes an uprising by members of the Democratic Party, supported by Representatives Rashida Tlaib and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Protests in the street become violent, and Conservatives are targeted. This opens the door for Trump to get his fan base to do what he has wanted all along- alienate Democrats violently. He says that all Democratic, Libertarian, and Green Party (to a lesser extent) members are not guaranteed full U.S. rights. This goes too far for many Republicans, and the party splits. Trump names his party “The American Party” or “TAP”, while the Republicans call themselves “The Grand Old Republicans” or “TGOR”. The Democrats are kicked out of Congress, and after three months under the oppressive TAP, California secedes. While Trump was looking to eliminate the Democratic Party entirely, he wanted to expand the U.S.A., not lose parts. The TAP votes to use the Confederate battle flag for the U.S.A.. Muslims have their citizenship revoked as the party becomes more powerful and radical. Trump sends the U.S. army to take California back, and New York, New Jersey, and New England secede. All military units there and in California are asked to either be loyal to the newly founded Northern States of America and California Republic or leave. An alliance is formed with the California Republic which has grown to include Oregon and Washington at the will of those states. The capital of the N.S.A. is New York City, and the capital of the CR is San Francisco. The new United States holds an election, and the TAP wins 70% of both the House and the Senate.
Targets of TAP and results
Blacks, Latinos and Sikhs, citizenship reduced back to 3/5ths (can’t vote, thrown into prison at will)
Muslims, citizenship revoked (green card rights, cannot live in certain areas, abuse of them overlooked)
Jews, citizenship not revoked but violence against them increases
Democratic, Libertarian, and Green Parties disbanded, members prosecuted and reduced to 4/5ths citizens unless they join TAP. Allowed to not be served at public spaces.
Official U.S. ID card distributed displaying all passport information, most recent political affiliation and fraction of citizenship
United States of America President: Donald Trump, Majority Party: TAP, Population: 234 million, Capital: Washington, D. C.
Brazil President: Jair Bolsonaro, Majority Party: MDB, Population: 209 million, Capital: Brasilia
Support limited to economics from Turkey and Israel
Northern States of AmericaPresident: Chuck Schumer, Majority Party: Democratic Party, Population: 43 million, Capital: New York City
California Republic President: Gavin Newsom, Majority Party: California Democratic Party for Liberalism (CDPL), Population: 51 million, Capital: San Francisco
States of the European Union (minus Poland and Bulgaria, abstained from involvement)Population: 500 million
Canada Prime Minister: Justin Trudeau, Majority Party: Liberal Party of Canada, Population: 37 million, Capital: Ottawa
TGOR members not supporting the USA- 5 million
Mexican troops under Californian control- 50,000
Guerilla Democrats in the U.S.A.- unspecified, people willing to fight estimated at 12 million
Fights broke out near Andrade, California between the Alamo Canal and the Colorado River on May 23, 2022. Light infantry made an attempt to cross the border discreetly near Mexico and were repelled by a joint Californian-Mexican effort. Several of these crossing attempts near the border were repelled. Washington grew frustrated with the failure of the small-scale invasions in the south. A medium-scale invasion was attempted into Oregon from a camp set up in Weiser, Idaho. The inexperienced guards of the Republic were defeated by the battalion of 1,000 soldiers with 532 casualties and 14 deaths between the two sides. With troops in Oregon meeting little resistance, attention was called to the inexperience and lack of troops in the North. Troops had been concentrated in the large cities such as Los Angeles, San Francisco, Olympia, Seattle, Eugene, Portland, Sacramento, and San Jose. President Newsom answered this with a plea to PM Trudeau of Canada to send troops to Washington and Oregon. Seeing as Canada also had a concern with the USA because of their long border, they obliged with 5,000 soldiers, who were deployed throughout the countryside. An additional 10,000 were divided between bases in Syracuse, New York and to San Francisco. Back east, military operations had not yet taken place. However, large gatherings of American soldiers had been observed in Erie, Pennsylvania. In a daring move, Northern soldiers marched unopposed into Philadelphia, which became the first city to fall. This loss of a major city prompted Trump to declare official war and martial law. After this, things were surprisingly quiet besides the odd border skirmish in the California Republic. This, however, was followed up by bad news in Oregon. The troops who had invaded has reached Salem, Oregon. This was especially bad because Salem was a large city between Eugene and Portland, so direct communications and travel were cut off between two major bases. The area between Salem and the sea was now under American control. With a measure of control established, Trump decided for the first major invasion of the war, on Southern Oregon. As a pure matter of coincidence, this coincided with the second large invasion. The Northern States took a gamble on a Pennsylvania that they thought was weakened without Philadelphia. They succeeded largely, but were unable to take the corner that contained Pittsburgh, and sustained heavy losses in a victory against the camp of soldiers at Erie. As a result of this, more Canadian troops were deployed to Syracuse. The U.S.A., for their part, took Eugene quite easily. A large amount of Canadian and Californian troops were now concentrated in Portland. An idea floating about in Washington was to take California in one sweeping invasion, so the U.S.A. called on allies, of which they had one. A significant one at that: Brazil. 150,000 soldiers were deployed to Salt Lake City in Utah, where the invasion was planned. Meanwhile, a small amount of U. S. soldiers were also sent to Akron in Ohio for a possible invasion of Pennsylvania.This weakened the Pittsburgh defense and Greater Pittsburgh fell to the North. Across the land, battle was raging in Northern Oregon and the U. S. Army was also inching towards the stronghold of California. The advance towards the stronghold of the Republic would not be what was making headlines across the world the next day in the end though. U. S. soldiers had been advancing much more quickly than the caution exercised by the Brazilian-American combined army in Southern Oregon towards Portland, but getting close to the city and control of Oregon they were met by a Canadian surprise attack. Reportedly, ten grenades were hurled from across the way. All Americans were killed in the attack as well as four injuries on the Canadian side. One Canadian died later as a result of his injuries. This temporarily halted the advance of the United States but the attacks kept coming. Eventually both sides decided to dig in and fight from fixed positions. In the north of California though, things were starting to heat up. The Brazilians and Americans had finally taken full advantage over their control over Southern Oregon and were nearing the border. Once again, a last and desperate defense by troops guarding their turf had staved off a crippling invasion, this time in Hornbrook, California.
TO BE CONTINUED...
DECEMBER ISSUE 2 SUBMISSIONS
Curated by Raquel Garcia
ISSUE 2 / DECEMBER 2018
WE ARE REALLY EXCITED ABOUT OUR DECEMBER SUBMISSIONS!
CHECK 'EM OUT!
Text: Fahima Text: Sheila
Text: Fahima Text: Sheila
Her title as American was secured six years before her birth But her reflection as a Mexican Would never allow her to be a true citizen
8 years after the fall of the twins America's ideologies never seemed to change In capturing her in a box Labelled Muslim and Indian Kicking her under the table So she would never Learn the ways of her ancestors And finish the job they had started but never completed
In an academy of 120 students With only 5 other Mexican girls
She needed to prove her worthiness And surpass the limitations that were once set upon her
In an academy of 120 students She grew tired Of seeing her own reflection On every other similar face
This white society Has brought these two minorities together But did not acknowledge the distinction That lies between the Pacific
Their eyes sealed with ignorance Leaving them unaware of the revelations that were once implanted in the mind of their ancestors Being passed down to each generation Never growing but only expanding Invading their thoughts Creating habits Exhausting the idea of change
Threatened by the idea Of putting a terrorist and a drug dealer in the same room
"Why are these two girls friends? They are so different it's unnatural." "How can their mothers allow their friendship to thrive?"
Age doesn't matter Even a 12 year old can say "Look at them, they're so different."
She's Questioned on a daily basis Of what she really is Questions of how she's come this far
/ look in admiration As she refuses to feed the curiosity That lies behind these questions I don't tend to these questions because their not questions but hidden interrogations
Confounding her descendants By refusing to wear her hijab Yet she places her hand Above the holy Quran
You derive pleasure by rebelling Against your religion I never planned to rebel There's just other ways Ways not yet written in history Ways / want them to sprout and be visible to the old fashioned
Afraid of letting their kids under her supervision Imagining she will erase all of the manners they have taught
Maybe if you change your attributes
These parents will change the way they look at you I will not allow the length of my skirt to define whether I will be accepted But nonetheless, I am incapable of removing The shade of my skin
To fit their ideologies and Be accepted in one's kin
They are reluctant to take your orders Believing you would waste five extra minutes Questioning the ingredients Presented on your tray
Although you know the answers to your questions Do you merely ask for reassurance? I never really asked I'm always conscious Of what I'm ordering Although this is a free country To practice any religion
So Why should / be judged for asking a few questions
Questioning is what got Your 7 countries banned I never saw a list With Bangladesh But there's an order Set after your family members Depriving them the chance to see you Instead they'll view the inside of a cell.
Those who are blindsided to The cruciality of this situation Should not have a say
I wasn't given a chance to choose from either Spending weeks in a lonesome, distressful desert Or watch the clouds drift through the sky Flying first class I strive for goals that now have become unreachable due to the chains I've been forced to wear since birth Setting limits to my success Meanwhile you wait to have your meals Spoon fed
Boasting about a luxury acclaimed by working hard Isn't a crime We've pulled all the weight to bring us here Uncovering that hard work never comes to an end, the clouds are still the same way The chains that you talk of Are not only yours Everything didn't arrive in a package It's needs to be triggered off
Says the terrorist Drug dealer Bomber Border crosser ISIS supporter Criminal MURDER I guess I can't trust an Indian
It's unfair how the things That makes me who I am Is often contradicted I wasn't raised in a land Where / was greeted By the eyes of 1,000 gods Instead, / rose from a country Of our only God, Allah Those arrogant minded government pets never took a moment To think How incompetent these two titles are How these two parallel lines can never intersect
You've been so absorbed with your own conflicts You never realized how I've hid From the streaks of red and blue From those red and blue lights After January 20 I could never breath without hesitation Fearing that one day I'll see I.C.E. at the door You're not the only victim BUT WHY DID THE THOUGHT OF US UNDERSTANDING EACH OTHER
CROSS OUR MINDS BECAUSE WE ARE NOTHING ALIKE
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME (Spanish) YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME ( Bengali)
Why did we think this would work out When we've seen this game be played out throughout history by what we call society
Yet We took a chance rolled our dice but they never got to hit the ground For they fell into the hands of the Republicans For he tampered with our faiths With the power given to him from the 307 electors
The same 307 that forced us to stand as one Now their fingers on the trigger with only one bullet
Before this man our conflicts were merely shadows lurking at night
But now the office has been passed down To the man who turns these shadows into slaves Carrying out his every command Infusing into our minds that our religion, culture, race and gender Don't make us special But simply make us different
Two minorities stand on the pedi stool They believe there's a bullet in that gun But if one race stands underneath the hand of the president long enough, then they can solely become a blemish On his colorless palm Believing they will accepted in this country Which one of the us will stand down? Which one of us will force the other to stand down!!!!
I wonder my purpose
In a world so intricate,
but no signs to indicate.
A path that I should take,
leads me to contemplate.
Whether there is a fate,
that I should instigate,
To end my own debate.
And I search for me.
Up in the heavens where there’s a god,
There’s a land without pain,
Where I’ll live with angels
Without pain and hurt,
But time is ponderous.
Never is arduous.
To him it’s obvious despite our strenuous,
Effort he’ll always be the one victorious.
I wonder my purpose.
NOVEMBER ISSUE 1 SUBMISSIONS
Curated by Raquel Garcia
We are SO PROUD to announce our issue #1 submissions! Scroll down to check 'em out!
BY TSERING GAGA
philocaly (noun): love of beauty.
pretty pink curtains
silk bedsheets and cream colored pillows
waking up at seven o'clock sharp
hair perfect, no eyes bags.
the smell of fresh flowers and vanilla,
sunlight pooling through the drapes.
stretching and doing yoga
heading to the bathroom and
continuing her everyday routine
taking a shower
brushing her teeth
like everyone else on this planet
primer. foundation. concealer.
pomade. eyeshadow. eyeliner.
contour. powder. blush.
highlight. lashes. mascara.
who is she looking beautiful for?
why does she put so much effort
in her appearance?
the smell lingers in the bathroom
she opens a window
the smell fading away
she opens her mouth to yawn,
her nose barely crinkling as her rosy red
lips opened in a perfect oval shape.
stepping out of the bathroom and walking
towards the kitchen in her bathrobe
sunlight pools through the glass house
the weather is beautiful like her
sunny and warm
she makes breakfast for herself
the house is quiet
the only sound is the sounds
of birds chirping in the backyard
she walks back upstairs to her bedroom
choosing an outfit for the day
the room is pink
the room is beautiful like herself
she peers at her reflection in her vanity
rhinestones embedded in
the pink colored wood
glimmering like stars in the morning light
like the woman in the mirror
who seemed to glow as well
she chooses a pretty dress like herself.
stripping and putting on the clothing
the satin fabric seeming
to make her glow even more
everything dimming and
seeming dull around her
but would you believe me if i said the truth.
that she is a demon masquerading in human form,
drawing in men and woman and manipulating
them. isolating them from the rest and
then making them hers forever.
twisting their strings and making
them cut off those closest to them.
fight with their parents and push them to beating up their own mother.
breaking up with their spouse and leaving them confused and heartbroken.
destroying friendships causing acrimonious and heated arguments.
making them quit their jobs and drive
them to ruin and poverty.
enticing and exciting them for a blissful but short period
of time, and in the end leaving them broken, poor and lonely.
but the question is,
did you fall in love with her yet?
most in this world seems to fall for those
with good looks rather than
those with a good personality.
philocaly (noun): the love of beauty
THE DAY HE CAME
BY: BANA CONDE
The day he came.
Was when he took his claim.
I wanted him to take the blame.
For he had made it this very game.
That made me loose my name.
It was the time of Fall.
And all it took was a call.
So big and tall.
And ready to take it all.
For the tears had come like a very big waterfall.
Those days when I was alone.
And couldn’t take anything to the bone.
I would just sit there, all broken and thrown.
With no idea that something was known.
I had wished for him to come.
Because all it took was for me to run.
And though he had known it was some...
Something that make me very dumb.
Those days where I would forget him.
Oh he was nothing but a whim.
And when he would make me on the brim,
The brim of something grim.
The cup held in my hand.
It was all going to be a plan.
And I know I can.
But the day he came was the day I ran.
The world had started to die.
And I wanted to scream out and cry!
Leave and say goodbye.
Please take your flurries and fly!
But he was very cold.
And had such a large hold.
Made everything so small and him so bold.
And then his story was told.
The white was all that could be seen.
Why? My day had been so clean.
And though he had changed the scene.
Oh he had been so keen.
No longer was the bright orange lights.
But the bright white frights.
And oh did the cold bite.
As it took away all our rights.
The day he came, was the day winter had come.
He was the one who would make us run.
Beat after beat on a drum.
The snow fell and down with it the slum.
He was winter.
Caused us all this splinter.
Oh he was so much bigger.
Caused us this pain, go figure....
The day he came, was the day it begun.
“Run,” he breathed.
I see the world
Within a universe, I see a galaxy
Within a galaxy, I see a solar system
Within a solar system, I see a world
A world of possibilities
A world of chance
A world of change
Though we still have conflict
Though we still can’t get along
Though we are not perfect
I see hope
Hope can be as addicting as a drug
It pushes you, it drives you
Hope can make the impossible possible
Look past what the eye can see
Look into the future
A future of possibilities
Hope can keep a person standing strong
I see strength
Strength to climb a mountain
Strength to venture forward
Strength to fly far away
The impossible may not seem as impossible with a little bit of hope
I see possibility
Possibility to push past your fears
Possibility to dream as big as you can smile
Possibility to live the life you’ve always wanted
I see opportunity
The opportunity to do something you’ve never done before
The opportunity to love, to live, to laugh
The opportunity to be the best you
I see happiness
Happiness can be found in the little things
Happiness can be found in people
Happiness can be anything
I see appreciation
I see life
Coming and going
Growing and falling
Crawling and running
I see chance
Chance to explore
Chance to be resilient
Chance to never stop
I see change
Change in my life
Change in my friends and family
Change for the better and the worse
Courageous yet still nervous
Not yet ready but inspired
I see the world I want to see
Most importantly, I see me.