I look in the mirror 

and the reflection looks back

Mimicking every little thing about me

from the head tilt, I’m giving her

to the way I’m squinting my eyes

I never did have a mirror up until now

I had never seen myself up until now

I never had thought of myself with a face up until now

How strange it is 

 to finally have a face

 to my name

 like everyone else 

 

 But do I like this face?

 

I correct my neck

and let my hands wander up my body

until they nearly meet my face

They’re frozen and perturbed

afraid to continue on

My gaze meets the mirror 

and the reflection gazes back

Looking into her eyes all I see is my face

 A face with  

 acne and scars

 dark circles and hooded eyes

 chubby cheeks and slight facial hair

 rigid eyebrows and round lips

 It looks odd

 

 Do I want this face

 

Had I walked out 

everyday

with such a face 

to my name

 

I shut my eyes

as I swallow my fear 

and command my hands to meet my face

 and so they trace over it

 and I feel it all

 A face

 that’s smooth and bumpy at the same time

 with two shallow craters and two weighed lids

 that can be hairy and fat in all the right places

 that’s both sharp and soft and correct 

It feels right

 It all feels right

 

 This face is mine

 Not perfect 

 but mine

 Not defective 

 but mine

 

I retract my hands

and open my eyes again

I turn to leave the room

but glace at the mirror one more time

and with already one foot out of the door 

my reflection smiles 

but also waves goodbye

like she has just found herself